You Might Be A Zombie

I've been doing some thinking lately and discovered a few things such as: 1. If you wake up only to find yourself buried in a coffin 6 feet under, you might  be a zombie. 2. If you notice you are missing a limb or two but it does not seem to have any affect on your (albeit stunted) mobility, you might be a zombie. 3. If at the office cookout you find you have an insatiable craving for your co-workers brains while they all are eating burgers and dogs, you might be a zombie. 4. If you notice a gawd awful odor only to discover it is coming from your own rotting flesh, you might be a zombie. 5. If your skin takes on an ashen hue and you find the dark circles under your eyes worsening daily, you might be a zombie. 6. If you suddenly have difficulty pronouncing words and everything you say sounds like a grunt or groan, you might be a zombie. 7. If someone who used to want to be with you all the time now runs in terror when they see you, you might be a zombie. 8. If while daydreaming you have nightmares about shotguns and machetes, you might be a zombie. 9. If you find yourself gnawing on the very person you swore you would never hurt, you might be a zombie. 10.  If you find you have been shot in the chest, maimed, run over with a car, hit in the gut with a baseball bat, pushed out of a 2nd floor window, and still are "alive," you might be a zombie. Sadly many of these symptoms are experienced by myself daily at the "jobsite"...... so either my job is killing me or I've "crossed over" and not realized it...... Any thoughts??