Update on My Boss

So she finally got a second opinion. GREAT NEWS - the cancer has NOT spread to her throat. They believe it is isolated in her breasts. As well, they claim she is Stage 3(b) (daring even to hope a high 2) and NOT Stage 4.

Chemo wrecks her. Her hair started falling out so she shaved the rest and bought a wig. It actually looks very close to her real hair. I can't imagine what it takes to get up everyday and go through the daily routine so many take for granted. I am not convinced that I would have her determination or courage.

She believes God is her reason. Her reason for the cancer as well as her reason for beating it. I don't know what I believe; I just know that she is an inspiration for hope and courage and faith.

Wow - long time gone

WOW its been a long time since I have posted. So much has been going on in my life. Its so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and before you know it, valuable time has passed that you can never get back. Time that we take for granted yet suffer not one regret until something bad happens and stops you dead in your tracks.

Like it did with my boss.

My boss joined us this past October when she was transferred here by her husbands work. She's a yankee born and bred - well, damn yankee since she unpacked and decided to stay :-)

It took awhile for all of us to come to a comfortable working relationship together. There we lots of changes at work and her coming aboard was the catalyst. But we did come to a comfortable working point, and I found myself really liking her personality and the positivity she brought to the table.

In a matter of weeks she went from being reasonably healthy to having stage 4 breast cancer. And in the week of tests they performed, it was discovered the cancer had spread to her throat.

She is 42. She has a 5 year old son; a 10 year old daughter; and a 14 year old son. Needless to say, she is devastated.

It hit me hard for some reason. I find myself crying alot if I dwell on it too much; the cruelty of life's irony. I can't begin to imagine what she must be feeling, or how she manages the strength to smile and attempt to maintain some level of normalcy in her everyday life. How she manages to hold it together in a feeble attempt to help her kids from falling apart when she herself must be silently going mad........

She told me the doctors think that with chemo and surgery, she could expect another year; no guarantees. The kids will watch their mother, being slowly devastated by chemo; she will have to live, waiting for the inevitable and fearing every step of the way. It breaks my heart.

Statistically, there is a 20% survival rate for stage 4 breast cancer; best case senario for that 20% is 5 years. Ususally much less. But miracles happen. And the will to survive can conquer the unconquerable.

I know it sounds cliche but where there is life, there is hope. And I have hope.....

MSF Course

I got a motorcycle. Have never ridden one in my life. But one day, after my better half decided he didn't want me riding bitch on his anymore, suggested I learn and see if I wanted to get my own.

So I signed up for the MSF Course. It's a motorcycle safety class that is offered nationwide. Some are free; some charge a fee. They teach you the basics of bike safety and handling. Excellent for a new rider.

Its a 2 & 1/2 day course. The first 1/2 day is spent in the "classroom" studying motorcycle safety and handling. The next two days are spent actually riding. They supply the bikes, helmets, etc. It's usually held in a large parking lot. For me it was at a college parking lot in Columbia SC. They use cones and markers to lay out various "obstacle" courses. They start you out from the most basic of how to start the bike and how to mount/dismount. Then they progress to how to make the bike actually mobile. Throw in turning; stopping; swerving; and variations of all the afore mentioned. At the end of the two days there is a written test and a "road" test (held in the same parking lot) to test your learned knowledge and "skills". As long as you don't have a dink for an instructor or just plain suck at riding, you pass.

Passing means you get a certificate; basically stating that you are safe to attempt road riding. It also entitles you to a discount on insurance with most companies. Although for me, it was a whooping $10 annual discount (Statefarm just LOVES its clients). Wooo-hooo...

BUTTTT - I passed and I got a bike!!! YEA!!!

A little humor for the new year

My life: why me???

A remodeled kitchen; a new deck; and now, french doors. All great modifications to an otherwise humdrum home but oh boy does working with my spouse one on one spell potential divorce. We work so badly with one another. He is stubborn and I am pig headed and together it just spells arguements. I must say though things are turning out rather nicely. This is before and after pics of our once ugly but now really sweet deck. Kithcen pics and french doors will be posted next.

Question of Life

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to stress over the "complexities" of everyday life and wonder "why do bad things always happen to me?". Whining comes so easily - but its usually just a venting exercise and not really justified. And sometimes just the sound of your own voice makes the icky that you feel somehow validated......

Although what we fail to realize is that everyday we have our health, loved ones in our lives, food on our table, a roof over our heads, we are blessed. And we take it for granted so easily.

I know someone through work that has lost their 13 year old daughter to a long painful battle with cancer. Leukemia. She lived about 4 years longer than doctors expected, so that was a blessing in that they were graced with extra time. But that bittersweet time must have been so hard for him as he watched his whole life slowly deteriorate through chemotherapy and radiation; being helpless in being able to make the pain and suffering stop.

We take so much for granted in everyday life. We get so caught up in petty stresses that are molehills made mountains caused from within ourselves.

It's realities like cancer that put things back in perspective. But it's short lived when you don't experience it yourself. And the passing of time makes it easy to forget. And the cycle of everyday life starts all over again. And it jump-starts the whining......

But not for the man who has lost his little girl. He knows his blessings; he won't forget. And I'm willing to bet these last 4 years that he was fortunate enough to have with his daughter will be top on his list..........

The "Project"

Have you ever noticed that no matter how much you love someone, as soon as you commit to a project with the them all bets are off? And you start to wonder if the life insurance you have in place would suffice for the amount of debt you've managed to accumulate???

I've had those thoughts today. I've thought about how easy it would be to let the sledge hammer slip and hit my beloved husband square on the noggin. His only saving grace is the immense enormity of his "love" that he sometimes shares with me. Although I sometimes wonder if Duracell stock would have the same affect......

We've decided to re-do our kitchen. This is a passing fancy we have had since we moved into this house 3 years ago. The kitchen is very outdated and the cabinets are comparable to prehistoric eras..... we actually found a couple of rat beds that were left over from when we first moved in......

"Do as I say" - that is his motto. "I will lead, you will follow." That is his creed. So after a huge realisation that we can not work together unless I follow any "ruling" he deems, we managed to strip the kitchen of its former self....

Tomorrow will bring a new day. But for now......dear lord give me strength........and pray the sledge hammer does not slip further than the wall......

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Thanksgiving is probably one of my most favorite days of the year. Even more so than Christmas. The reasoning for this is that on Thanksgiving no one is looking for a present. They are merely happy to be together and enjoying the simple things in life (not to mention lots of food and pie!) I will however be doing turkey day mostly healthy this year. Turkey; stuffing; peas; sauteed onions; and cranberry sauce. Simple, mostly healthy, and 100% good!

But I wanted to take a minute to give thanks......

I am thankful for my husband Bill; who gave me the strength to accept who I am and who makes me a better person just by being in my life. I am thankful for my health and for everyday that I wake to a new sunrise. I am thankful to have lived the life I have lived thus far; the good and the bad; because it made me who I am today. I am thankful for my family and for their perseverance through the hard times; and I pray for their healing and peace of mind. And I am thankful to have the understanding to know what is important, and to differentiate between what is real and what is imagined.

So many things to be thankful for that no way could they all be listed on this blog. But if a higher power does exist, He knows what is in my heart. And I find my peace in that knowing.....