Alive at 38

ME

I can't believe its taken me 38 years to realize that riding solo on a motorcycle is the most amazing feeling I have ever experienced (well......almost.) :-)

I started in February with the MSF course. Puttered around the neighborhood until Myrtle Beach Bike Week in May - where I was callously thrown to the wolves by my hubby to either "shit or get off the pot" and actually RIDE the bike that I absolutely HAD to have. Then back home again, puttering even more around the local town streets.....

Well today I decided I had the cajones to do a road trip. Now mind you, MY road trip idea is lame compared to you strapping biker boys and babes, but its MY road trip, so I can make it anything I want.

SO - we hop onto Hwy 1 to head out to Columbia SC. Our destination was about 70 miles away. I didn't feel confident to hop onto I-20 so the back roads was our avenue. Chump change. But it was F'N HOT!!!! 92 and rising. And me in my jeans and boots........... sooooooo not cool. (did I mention it was F'N hot??????????)

SO - my hubby says to me as we are heading home..... "You feeling like you can handle I-20? I'll take it easy and we'll go at your pace". Yeh. Ok. FINE. I can't be a candy a$$ my whole life. I mean, if I want to enjoy bike rides and so forth I have to actually venture past the 55mph mark so let's go for it...........

Man I gotta tell ya - something about that road just hit right today and I was having a BLAST!!!!!!! My needle went as high as 85mph (ok well maybe 82 but that's still F'N QUICK for me and my Sporty!) At one point I BLEW past my hubby like a bat out of hell and I could swear I saw his jaw drop when I rounded him!! (He might say I am exaggerating a bit but I assure you, that is EXACTLY how it happened!)

38 years to find this feeling.......... man what a RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!


HUBBY

Yeah...blew by me.....uh huh....at least until you ran out of gas going down the highway and didn't know what happened. I guess we can call you speed racer now.

ME

Ok, now isn't that just typical of a guy who's ego has been bruised by a chick (such as this one blowing past you like I was sucking white off rice) to hit me where it hurts?????

Ok yeh, so I have never frickin' driven a clutch, and what the F is a friggin' petcock anyway?? Nothing to do with gas on a motorcycle in my book.

So yeh. My bike starts to sputter. And yeh I had no idea what was happening. And what did my dearly beloved do as I floundered and drifted to the side of the f'n INTERSTATE as my bike stalled out on me cuz I ran out of gas??? (Yeh, I finally figured out I ran out of gas and flipped the thingy. Geezz.........)

Well I'll tell ya what he did. He KEPT RIDING!!!! Probably afraid that once I figured it out I'd pass his ass all over again!!!!!!!!

LEE

Ahh, a happy couple! Hope she didn't muss yer feathers when she blew by ya on that sporty of hers! Sounds like ya'll had fun.

STEVE

Page, you know the saying "If I have to explain you wouldn't understand?"

Well, until you do it, and unless you've got the gene to get it, no one can realize that, other than maybe being a parent, there isn't a feeling in the world better than hangin' with a few good buds while you've got your knees in the breeze. Don't be upset that it took you 38 years to do it. Be glad that you did find riding and that you can do it for the rest of your life.

Oh, and take it easy on hubby next time. He's probably scared to go over 70!

HUBBY

Lee, My feathers are sunburned.....I seem to be surrounded by trash talking sporty owners. I'll break her spirit and stop the trash talking when we go to Asheville. Let's see how much her jaws are flapping after we get done descending some mountains!

SAM

Be careful turning on the reserve while moving Page, and make sure you aren't cranking on the throttle when you do this.

HUBBY

No worries on that...speed racer can't take one hand off the bars yet......

ME

OHHH THAT is SO NOT TRUE!! He's thinking of my BICYCLING abilities as I happen to be very vertically challenged when it comes to bicycles. Removing a hand from the bars tends to result in very painful "mishaps."

Now on the Sporty I do GREAT one handed - he just doesn't want to accept that his meek lil' wifey is doing pretty decent on her bike all by herself (but I don't make it a habit to ride one handed. Usually I do it only to tuck in my shirt so I don't flash all my flesh to the world or because a bug flew up my nose...)

RAUD

After the rush, was their any wild kinky monkey sex? I wanna hear about that!

ME

Raud, a lady never tells! That's the guys job.

HUBBY

Obviously you missed the part where I said we were married.

SLASH

OUCH Bill! But hey, I don't want to be the gloomy voice here but it's right when that bike starts to feel really good,and your confidence level is sky high that weird stuff can happen, Page. It's important to remember the basics and stay focused.

HUBBY

So do you recommend I double the life insurance I have on her, Slash? Is that what you are saying?

SLASH

I'd triple it.... at least for a while.

JOEY

You guys are killing me! You sound like me and my wife talking!

My wife took the MSF course in 2003. Bought her an 883 Hugger. She said "anything bigger, and I can't handle it." Ok.... last summer, we picked up her 05 Heritage Classic. Guess she realized a bike is a bike once you get them moving.

Every once in a while, we'll be out riding and she get's the Speedracer syndrome. Most of the time, 45-55 is her comfort zone. Once in a while, out of nowhere, she'll pass me and run hers up to 80 or 85.

At Myrtle this year, a few of us took a little ride up to Wilmington. On the way back, I was in the very back of our group. She was in front of me. We're rolling down 17 about 60 mph or so and all of a sudden, she jumps outta line and takes off like a bat outta hell! I think it's her Speedracer coming out, so I follow her. I passed her a little of 90. Never even looked over at her. As I checked my mirror, I see her left hand holding her bikini top in place!!!!

I slow down so she comes up beside me. As she was riding, the bikini strap across her back broke! There is nowhere on 17 to pull over, no shoulder, nothing. Every mile or so is an emergency pull off. I'm laughing my ass off at her. At some point, she has to let go of the top and grab the clutch!

Now had she been thinking, she could have let go of the throttle, grabbed her top with that hand, pulled the clutch in, shifted into neutral and slowed to a stop without letting the top go. OH NO, never crossed her mind. About 1/8 mile ahead, we see the pull off. She lets go of the top and starts to slow into the pulloff.

Every trucker in North Carolina must have been on 17 that afternoon. Imagine the image....Hot biker chick riding down the road on her own bike, white boobies shown for the whole world to see. As our group got stopped, none of us could stop laughing, including her. Talk about luck!

HUBBY

Joey, that story is TOO funny!

ME

You know Joey, as much as my goodies are for the viewing pleasure of my hubby only (poor guy) I must confess that had this happened to me I might have just had to say "F'IT!" and let em flap!! What a RIOT!

Oh and for the record, all this crap talk about tripling insurance???? Trust me - he don't want to do his own laundry. He won't let nothin' happen to me!

JOEY

Page, I swear, you sound like my wife. As the trucks rolled past us, blowing their horns, waving, etc, she just kept laughing. At some point, you just gotta say it's funny and go with it. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen her embarrassed about showing them! Hmmmmm... maybe that's a problem in itself....

Anyway, I'm glad you're now enjoying riding. Getting comfortable at highway speed and beyond, takes time. Sounds like you're on your way. So when you gonna do the big bore kit, cams, etc? You gotta find a way to keep up with your boy and his scoot!

ME

Oh HE had that stuff picked out long before Myrtle! He just needed to make sure I was aboard for the ride. All I got to say is "what the hell is taking so danged long??????????"

HIM

Well Joey...according to her....she blew me in the weeds so she must not need the big bore kit now.