Little things mean so much

My girl Nona, over at "Yummy! Down on This" made me realize something today.

I have been too long on the dark side these last few weeks.

Winona, or Nona if you prefer, always has a day where she gives thanks for things in her life. Little things, not big things like health and stuff, but little (sometimes weird )things, and she always seems to find a reason to smile.

So I thought I would turn this frown of mine upside down and smile for a bit, and see what little things I can come up with to be thankful for. Here goes nothing:

Little things I am thankful for:

1. My dogs who, even though they annoy the F*CK out of me more often than not, give me unconditional love even when I am at my worst.

2. Diet Pepsi. Because no matter how much I need my morning pot of coffee, I need my Diet Pepsi first.

3. My husband, for all the special little things.....

4. Straws. Cuz they make everything liquid taste that much better.

5. My mom. Cuz even tho I will probably be as crazy as she is one day, she's still my mom and she loves me even when I am a bitch.

6. Really cheesy B-movies cuz they make me laugh and forget life for awhile.

7. Metal music. Cuz when I feel like shit, and it's cranked up insanely loud, I just feel better.

8. Q-tips. Cuz nothing feels better than a good brain scratch.

And now I am supposed to finish up with some cute funny pics. So here they are in no particular order:



So go check Nona out. And if you are a fan of small pets (as am I) she's really rather informative when it comes to rats (another reason I like her.)

Wordless Wednesday: Before & After

Save Me...

What is this Evil
Growing inside me?
Who gave it legs and
Permission to feed,
On this - my own life….

Why can’t I cut
This evil out?
Why can’t I bleed
Fountains of youth?

I cry tears,
anguished pain;
Yet nothing…

Nothing
Can save

…me.

Life is Cruel

John Q is on tv right now. For those of you who don't know, it's a movie starring Denzel Washington as a father whose young son is in renal heart failure and needs a transplant. Problem is that his insurance, his HMO, does not have a provision for treatment of this magnitude, and the hospital is of course all about the almighty dollar. John Q (symbolically referring to "John Q Public") has no choice but to take matters into his own hands in order to save the one thing in the world that matters most: his son.

This movie breaks my heart in that it so vividly illustrates how we have become a nation of greed and indifference. How the value of human life has been reduced to a buck.

I have no idea how much radiation or chemo costs. But I do know that for one person, a 5-hour duration of chemo is $15000. I also know some sort of shot that has to be administered 24 hours after each chemo treatment in order to increase the white blood cell count runs another $7000.

This does not take into account blood work, ex rays, pet-scans, prescriptions, etc that go along with cancer.

I'm not quite sure where I am going with all this. I think it's just more of me feeling angry.

Angry and helpless.

I don't understand why bad things happen to good people. Why innocence has to die.

Why babies die.



Sprout was just a baby. She had done nothing that would warrant penance of life. So why her? And why so many others like her?

I was raised a catholic. I believe in God. But I can't believe that any of this makes sense in the grand design of his plan.

Call it blasphemy. Call it unchristian. Call it whatever you want but explain to the family of Sprout how this makes sense. Explain to my family how incurable cancer makes sense.

Yeh, I am in the angry stage. Hopefully it will pass and I will find the faith that I was raised on....

I just can't see it right now.